The Smaller Hooligan: "I kind of need a haircut."
Me: "Ok, as soon as the auction is over next Friday, we'll get you a haircut."
Smaller Hooligan: "Everything has to wait until after the auction."
The Man Who Lives In My House: "Mom's not even going to go to the bathroom until the auction is over."
Me: "Yeah, next Saturday I am going to explode."
TMWLIMH: "It would be best if you did that somewhere far away, like maybe at an ordinance range."
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