A plague upon my house.

I was making my bed the other morning.  I'm not a neat freak, but I like to make my bed so I can pile stuff on top of it over the course of the day.  Anyway, I picked up one of the pillows to fluff it up and there was a cricket.

Eeeuw.  It may have been there all night.  

It could be worse.  It was not a roach.  But it was an insect.  And furthermore, I recognized it.  This was not a cute little lace-wing or grasshopper visitor from my garden.  This was one of the juicy brown crickets we buy at the pet mart for the Larger hooligan's leopard gecko.

12 for $1, if you're wondering.  I make him pay for them.  And I ask the pet mart lady to put them in a brown sack, so I don't have to look at them on the way home.  It makes a scratching noise as I drive.  Eeeuw.  

I remained calm, as there was no one home to come running if I hollered.  I flicked it onto the floor and stomped on it.  Sorry cricket.  Sorry lizard.  I felt a little bad, but mostly relieved.

I suspect that the cricket container got dumped.   The larger hooligan failed to mention this to me.  This shows that he has a strong sense of self preservation.  That's a good thing.  

Later, on the phone, my mom pointed out that these pet store crickets may be invasive.  Perhaps they will devour every green thing in the neighborhood, starting with my garden. It will be a plague of locusts.  She's not one to look on the bright side, is she?  Bad Grandma.

All because of the Larger Hooligan's insectivorous leopard gecko.  I liked it better when she was living under the stove, unbeknownst to me.  The ants that meander through my kitchen were mysteriously absent during that period.....

More excuses (this one barks and drools)

The plan after we got home from Alaska was to get another dog.  Because I don't know why.  I have mentioned our dog on numerous occasions when he does something dreadful or expensive.  I guess we like that, so we wanted more.  No one ever accused any of us of having a lot of good sense.

My vision was something small-ish but not tiny, young ish but not a puppy, and perhaps at least part poodle or terrier, for the low-shedding feature.

I visited local shelters and rescue places for about 6 weeks--one of the reasons I was too busy to post, ok?  I met a lot of dogs, but they were too old or too small or too scared or or or....

And then this guy crossed my path:

Even as I type he is snoring on my lap.  He snores!  And drools!  and has to be let out one or more times/night!  He's so cute!  He's gained 6 pounds in the two weeks since we got him.  He's some sort of mastiff.  So much for smallish.  He won't fit in my lap for another week or so. We named him Magnus.

Reminds me of the hooligans, actually.

my other excuses

For not posting most of the summer.....

I was distracted.  Because we went to Alaska, which is kind of mess-with-your-head-distracting.

Really.  When Alaskans come to the Northwest and their friends show them around our natural wonders, they must be so un-impressed.

To illustrate:

We went on a 3 day kayak trip.  The weather was perfect.  

It's just crazy pretty.  The seabirds make a huge racket.  Some of the coves looked like snow globes with the air full off birds, wheeling and calling.  The water was full of sea lions, otters, Dahl's porpoise, orca and humpbacks.  A pod of orca swam right under the boat.  

That's a chum salmon--the kind they make into dog food.  They're fun to catch because they put up a fight.   

Goons in the wild.  They were doing their Hussein Bolt move.  (We watched the olympics whenever we had access to a TV.)

The smaller Hooligan loves all aspects of fishing, including the guts.  He got covered in fish guts and blood as he made discoveries:  "This fish ate a fish!"  Other tourists were taking pictures of him.  He was quite a spectacle.  

I regret not buying that mask.  

We caught a limit.  

Bear cub in a berry thicket. 

The smaller Hooligan and I found pre-columbian spear points.  We wanted to keep them, but it would have been un-ethical and illegal, so we buried them in a special spot, where we can find them again someday. 

 Our friends Darcy and Chet live in Anchorage.  They graciously took it upon themselves to show us how locals have a good time:  This involved flying us in their small plane to a glacial lake near Palmer. It took 3 trips to get us, our gear, their dog, and the coolers of beer and moose steaks to the site.  Once there, our minds were blown AGAIN, by how wild and remote it is.  We saw mountain sheep and bear tracks.  Moose steak is delicious.

I would go back in a minute.  I told my college kid neighbors to go seek adventure in Alaska instead of Africa.  Sure, Africa is all the rage.  I would like to go there someday, but it's so expensive to get there, and their moms must worry.  Alaska is comparatively convenient/cheap.  You can drink the water.  As long as you avoid mother bears and crevasses, plane crashes, hypothermia, etc.  it's fairly safe.    

How we spent our summer

He came rushing inside and grabbed his (brand new) jacket.  "Why are you putting on your jacket?"  I asked.  "It's 80 degrees."

"I am going to ride down the hill on my stomach," he explained.  "I need protection.  I need leathers."

"Why don't you go find that leather cowboy jacket in the dress up box?  It will work better and your new jacket will not get ruined."

His eyes lit up and he disappeared into the basement.  He reappeared attired as you see above.

Motivational Fright Wig

I've been terribly busy, as you can see:

Hair this big does not happen without great effort.

I know.  I look like Phil Specter.  But it motivates the hooligans.  They get out of bed in a timely manner to come see how insane it is every morning.

We are never late to school.

More Prodigal reptiles

Quite a few times our tutles have runnoft.  2/3 of them have returned.  Starshine is still AWOL.  If you find a grape-fruit sized Southeastern Box Tortoise in Southeast Eugene, please give her lots of snails and be warned that she will live 40-80 years, depending on where you get your information.  I failed to research Turtles before I said yes.  Lesson Learned.

More recently the Leopard gecko when AWOL about 6 weeks ago, (See 2 posts previous).  We tore the house apart and had given up hope.  Meanwhile, life has gone on.  The hooligans have been up to various hijincks, particularly playing war, riding skateboards (with helmets), sneaking off to the corner store for candy every possible chance, and going off to sleep away camp at the beach this whole week.

In their absence, the house has been very quiet.  It is clean and peaceful.  I have been staying up late doing various projects.  Tonight I shuffled into the kitchen for water when something caught my eye  peeking out from under the stove.

The words MOUSE!RAT!ROACH! were flying at me-- it was none of these.  I know my mouse rat roach--I lived in Baltimore for 4 years, after all.   It was a yellow and black speckled head-- indubitably the gecko.  

The Man Who Lives In My House was right behind me when he heard me croak, "Lizard!"

He knelt down and peered under the stove, "She's right there!   Run up and turn on the heat rock, Kate!"

I didn't think she'd opt to crawl into his hand, but I was wrong.   Everyone loves TMWLIMH: my mother, the dog, the kids, even the lizard.

The Larger Hooligan will return to a clean, purged, and re-arranged bedroom, with his lizard restored to the tank on his dresser.

I think he may forgive me for touching his stuff.

Reptiles were not in the fine print

Neither was football, but that's another post.

A perfectly horrible day, kicked off by the younger hooligan crying quietly int his waffles as he comtemplated what to write in his teacher's end-of-the-year thank you card.  He loves his teacher, loves school and hates goodbyes.  Every year we go through this, but usually it doesn't happen until the last bell rings.  This teacher is particularly spectacular.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the lair of the 12 year old, the gecko was missing.

Hysteria ensued.

I have trouble relating to the affection my elder son feels for his gecko. But there it is.  And the social studies final was set to commence in a mere hour.  How was he ever going to remember details of ancient chinese dynasties when the lizard was not in her proper place.

If he hadn't yelled at the smaller hooligan when he came to help search, I would have had more sympathy.  Even without sympathy, I spent the entire morning excavating all the dust/spare change etc. from under every bed, bookcase etc. upstairs.  To no avail.  At least it's a lot cleaner.

I have been accused of being glad she is gone.  I am not, if only because now I will worry that she is going to re-appear, say, in my hair at one in the morning.

Sleep well!