I am a toast-o-holic. I usually have two pieces sometime between when I should have eaten breakfast (I'm not ready to contemplate eating that early) and lunch (who has time for lunch?). Sometimes we make toast for a snack after school. Later, after the kids are in bed and the kitchen is done and maybe we have folded some laundry while watching Flight of the Conchords (Bret or Jemaine? Jemaine. Don't laugh.), I think, "I want dessert. But we have no dessert. I know, I will have some toast, with butter and jam, or cinnamon sugar, or one of each!" So I do. And it is good. Dessert--preferably Alden's mint chip ice cream (if I had another hooligan I would name him Alden) would be better, but toast will do.
Toasters keep dying (of over-use?) on my watch. I believe I have had at least 6 in the 13 (almost) years we have been married. The first one was a basic toaster oven that died right around our first anniversary. Meier and Frank took that as an opportunity to demonstrate their horrible customer service (no wonder they went bankrupt). The most recent toaster was a Delonghi 4 slicer that I bought at an estate sale to replace the Cuisinart toaster oven that I bought with a coupon at Bed Bath Etc. The Cuisinart had stopped toasting the top side. I flipped the toast over manually for a couple of months. I found the Delonghi on half price day ($10!). It worked fine for about a year. Then the left side stopped working. I thought, "That's ok, we'll just make 2 slices at a time instead of 4. We can deal. " The right side quit two days later. So I junked it and burned a lot of bread in attempts to toast it under the broiler.
The Man Who Lives In My House suggested that my tendency to cheapness may have been at the root of the problem, "Just buy a decent toaster instead of some cheap piece of junk!"
Well, OK. I went to the local awesome kitchen store. Naturally, my first question was about their return policy. (They stand by their products!) My next question was, "Which one will not die?" I came home with a British toaster. I assume it's the same kind the queen uses because--even on sale AND with a coupon--it was shockingly expensive (He TOLD me to buy a good one!).
It's so shiny I'm afraid to use it. Maybe later, after the kids are in bed.