Sunday, August 25, 2013


We caught lots of Dungeness crab while we were at the coast.  The Smaller Hooligan is nuts for fishing in any form.  So Crab was the featured (but not the only) menu item for our last night.  We also had rice, and beans, broccoli and fresh rockfish (also from our fishing expedition).  I mention this so that we all understand that no one was force fed crab.

My five year old nephew, Señor Cupcake, would like you to know that crab is horrible.  It is so horrible that when a big platter of it is placed on the table you might want to run howling out of the room and spend the rest of the meal hollering and kicking the wall.  That is what he did and he is very surprised more of us don't do the same.

We pretended not to notice the ruckus.   Actually, that is not true.  We laughed,  which made him madder.  We are mean mothers, but what do you expect?  After the fisticuffs incident between the Hooligans, our nerves were shot.   More crab for us.  And more wine.  Stat.

After the crab was cleared away Senor slunk down stairs and ate a few surly spoonfuls of beans and broccoli.  He was very put out.

Interestingly, his meltdown inspired my previously recalcitrant and grumpy hooligans to become good pals again.  Having someone else act up brought on a rush of brotherly love.

Is this what it's like to have three children?  With just two, you always can consider knocking their heads together if they don't stop squabbling.  My mother threatened to knock our heads together at least once daily.  It was an empty threat, but it got her point across:  Abbey and I were really getting on her nerves. This would be difficult to do with 3. You would need a nanny to help you do the knocking in an evenly distributed manner.  And if you had a nanny, you might not be in the house, listening to the squabbling.  It would be the nanny's problem.

 (Note:  I have never knocked my children's heads todgether.  I have thought about it though.  I have thought long and hard. I would be a terrible nanny.  Do not hire me.)

Later Gump gave everyone ice cream cones. My sister and I refrained from pointing out that when we were children, he NEVER would have let us have dessert if we had thrown a fit during dinner. Of course I don't remember us throwing a fits during dinner, even when it was really putrid, like lima beans and shepherd's pie.  Maybe we were afraid they would knock our heads together .  

I think our children's shenanigans give our parents enormous satisfaction.  I still think my mother is slipping the larger hooligan cash to give me a hard time. Possibly lots of cash.  He loves her shepherd's pie.  He says I should make it.  Grand children are sweet revenge.

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