Guest Blog-- The Man Who Lives in My House-- "Those Rollerblades Suck"

The Hooligans' Mother is too addicted to her new knitting project to do her "real" job-- writing this blog.  So, I, the Man Who Lives in Her House, am charged with the duty.  Hopefully, this will not be as lame as when Bill Keane, the creator of the evil Family Circus, goes on "vacation" (too drunk to draw right) and "Billy" takes over.

Larger Hooligan recently scored tennis shoe roller-skates at a garage sale (see figure 1).

Figure 1

Smaller Hooligan has been busy stealing them at every opportunity even though they are far too big: They are the new cool thing. It seems to have slipped his mind that we have a basket full of excellent rollerblades that were Christmas presents two years ago.  I happened to know that the smaller hooligan's feet now fit the larger out grown rollerblades.  After the predictable squabble over attempted roller-skate theft, this was our conversation this morning:

Me: "Go and get those red rollerblades, they will fit you perfectly!'

SH: "Huh?  Those rollerblades suck!"

"No they don't.  They are FINE."

"The straps always come right off."

"No they don't.  Go get them"

"Well, they have spider webs and spiders on them!" (from dis-use)

"Just wipe them off!  See, they are great!"

(After sliding the rollerblades on to a perfect fit) "Oh, I think I was thinking about my old ones."

"Let's go get your helmet and pads."

"Goodbye friendly father."

"Goodbye friendly son." (see figure 2)

Figure 2

Five minutes later:

"EMERGENCY!  EMERGENCY! [The larger hooligan] scraped his knee and needs the BIG kind of bandaid!!"

Believe it or not, this actually got the Hooligan's Mother off the couch and out to the street, where she administered first aid.